Who is Art Beagle?

Art Beagle is a guy who just sits on the couch and watches TV. Does he have thoughts? Dreams? Hopes or ambitions? Does he feel love?

Who knows.

Who CARES; there’s stuff to watch! Sports! Soaps! Sitcoms! And most of all - ads! Clever ads! Dumb ads! Ads for cars! Ads for restaurants! Ads for so many things that are meant to get you off of the couch, into the stores, the stadiums, the theaters, the gathering places of the world. Ads to improve your health and fitness. Ads to improve your love life. Ads for medicine to treat ailments you never expect to suffer.

Ads for medicine to treat those social ailments you know you suffer already but there’s a fresh six pack in the fridge so no need to get up off the couch. Well, not until the one bottle currently in arms reach runs dry, truly empty. Like Art himself. But there’s always another beer on hand.

The great hole-filler. That, and nachos.

And playoff games.

You root, root, root for the home team because home is where the roots are, anchored in to the sofa, eyes fixed to the TV set where nothing changes, everything is safe, the good guys always win, and the bad guys were only joking. Even the news is outside these walls.

It can’t hurt you in here.

Nothing can hurt you in here.

On the other hand, there’s Art Beagle’s Backup Band: